Bride-to-be asks homeowner to use his backyard for her wedding since she grew up there, neighbors call him a 'nasty person' after he politely declines: 'This seems like an odd request and I am a bit overwhelmed'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 23, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Everyone is allowed to have the wedding of their dreams. They don't have to make a decision solely to please anyone else or follow tradition-- the couple gets to make up the rules. It's an entirely optional event anyway. So it's up to the couple getting married what kind of ceremony they want. Do they want it to be super traditional and include the whole family? Or do they want to do it underwater because they're both big scuba divers? Or literally anything in between. A wedding can be whatever you want it to be. You are constrained by a couple of factors, though. 

One: budget. Weddings are famously expensive, and unless you want to take out a crushing loan, you probably want to stay inside the boundaries of what you can afford. This can cut your dream wedding down to size pretty quickly. Two: a compromise between both parties. You both need to sort of agree on what you want. You wouldn't want your partner to go rogue and end up disappointing you. And finally, you need the permission of the venue. Easy enough? Not always.

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  • A woman looks through a gate at a farm.
    via Unsplash+ (Fellipe Ditadi)

  • The bride-to-be in this story failed to make good on that last part of the deal. She had her dream wedding venue in mind, but the problem was: it was somebody's house. Sure, it used to be her house growing up, but now it belongs to someone else. Read on to see how they resolved this story. 

  • AITJ For Not Letting a Stranger Get Married in My Back Yard?

    I have been living in my house for about 15 years, got it after a family lost it to foreclosure, which is admittedly really sad... but also it is what it is.
    via u/belowupstairs
  • A few weeks ago a young woman came to door and explained that she grew up in my house and had always dreamed of getting married in the back yard where she used to play with her childhood sweetheart who she's now marrying. She wanted to know if I would oblige her request and let her have her wedding reception there. She offered to pay for anything related.
    via u/belowupstairs
  • I politely declined. I don't really want a bunch of people in my yard and I have actually done a bunch of renovations to add a berry patch, deck, outdoor kitchen area, rose and hydrangea bushes, and a few other things I just dont want messed up by the would be attendees.
    via u/belowupstairs
  • She became pretty irate and tried to argue with me, then started crying, and it just all seemed sort of histrionic to me personally. I asked to leave and she did and I never heard from her again. But then today my neighbor who has always been very nice to me called me a "nasty person" and that he heard from the family I wasn't going to let the woman marry in my yard.
    via u/belowupstairs
  • Am I a J ? This seems like an odd request and I am a bit overwhelmed that I may earn a bad reputation in my neighborhood if it spreads around.
    via u/belowupstairs

  • Commenters shared the same concerns.

    Taki583 15h ago • NTA. It's your property. Plus, what about insurance? You have to have special insurance to cover something like that. Too much to ask a stranger to do simply because you bought a house.
    via u/Taki583
  • A woman's hand on a linen dress with a background of autumn flowers.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Ok-Manufacturer5... . 15h ago Just let the neighbour know he's welcome to host them in their yard.. NTJ
    via u/Ok-Manufacturer5890
  • Pizza-Gremlin • 15h ago Nah, mate, NTA. It's ur pad, end of story. Woulda been nice, sure, but it's not like she had her wedding booked in ur yard & u canceled last min She gotta respect boundaries, dude, & it sounds entitled af she'd kick off like that. Hope things chill out in ur neighborhood, no one wants drama.
    via u/Pizza-Gremlin
  • Forsaken_Pick3201 15h ago NTJ - not at all. The liability alone would be unreasonable. Not to mention if they decided to have alc ol. NOPE! No way. Where would they expect to pee? BTW be careful and watch your home. If she is entitled enough to ask that and behave like she did, she may just decide to do it anyway. That would be a police call.
    via u/Forsaken_Pick3201
  • Outside_Explorer_29 15h ago Tell your nosey and nasty neighbor that if he wants to cover the cost for the liability insurance, the clean up, the security, and pay for any damages to your yard and property, maybe you'll consider it. NTJ
    via u/Outside_Explorer_29
  • AntiqueFeed5276.15h ago How are you the j ? No one in their right mind would let a stranger into their house let alone letting them throw a party. If they get injured you will be liable. Also they could destroy your house. Don't do it!
    via u/AntiqueFeed5276
  • Ro... 15h ago Edited 15h ago . I certainly don't think you're TJ here for not wanting to let a stranger get married in your backyard, by any stretch. Especially with the potential of liability issues, practical restroom needs for guests, and potential alcol consumption.
    via u/RogueWarriorXx
  • And yes, she certainly got a bit over the top about it.. but considering the foreclosure and the memories, I can at least sympathize. Now, if you wanted to be empathetic and understanding, I would have suggested that you would be open to allowing them to take some wedding or
    via u/RogueWarriorXx
  • engagement photos in your backyard. Whether you want to extend that olive branch through the neighbors or not, I have no idea how that would go now that things have gotten awkward. It might be a bad idea.. but it also might be a thoughtful and compassionate one that allows her the emotional closure she's probably looking for. Your call, but that would be the thoughtful compromise.
    via u/RogueWarriorXx
  • Any-Split3724 • 15h ago NTJ. Its your house now, no need to have a bunch of strangers traipsing around, not to mention the liability risks if someone were to injur themselves, you would be on the hook. Little girl needs to grow up and move on. Badmouthing you to the neighbors is inappropriate, to say the least.
    via u/Any-Split3724
  • chez2202. 15h ago NTJ. But you are missing something really important here. How old was this young woman? 23? 25? Or maybe 30?
    via u/chez2202
  • I'm asking because you have lived there for FIFTEEN YEARS. So if she's 23, she left at age 8. If she's 25, she left at age 10. So if she's marrying her childhood sweetheart who used to play in your garden with her, his family has a garden of their own very close by. 8 or 10 year olds don't travel long distances to play with their friends.
    via u/chez2202
  • Does this make sense? I hope it does. And you might want to talk to your neighbour again and point out the blatantly obvious points I just made.
    via u/chez2202
  • Interesting_Wing_... 15h ago NTA, this is your home now. Even if the reception were to be in the back yard, people who you do not not would be needing to come into your home to use the bathroom. I would have said no also.
    via u/Interesting_Wing_461
  • bigoussy ⚫ 15h ago NTA it is sad that her family is no longer in her child home, but that does not mean you need to let a bunch of people in your home and mess up your yard. Tell your neighbor to open up their home and let a bunch of strangers in
    via u/bigoussy
  • WaterDreamer10 15h ago Do what contractors do.....say 'NO' with money. Tell her sure, you will let it happen, but you want 100k or more as a 'venue' to host the wedding, plus proof of liability insurance to cover all the people at the wedding.
    via u/WaterDreamer10
  • You are not saying no....but she will not want to pay it.....and well....if she does....well you just made 100k, which will cover more than any damage to your grass/plants.
    via u/WaterDreamer10
  • PlatypusTechnical... . • 14h ago I loved my grandparents place. They were there for over 30 years. After they passed, we sold the place. I wouldn't even dream of asking the new owners if I could get married there regardless of how many memories I have there. Just seems absurd to me.
    via u/PlatypusTechnical814
  • • AwarenessKey5050 · 12h ago NTA! For gosh sakes insurance liability aside- an event like this could have done damage to your property! Plus where would everyone go to potty! Strangers running around your home too...heck no! And for people to get mad at you- shameful.
    via u/AwarenessKey5050
  • DriftingLily9 • 14h ago NTA You're a nasty person because you don't want just not 2 strangers, but A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRANGERS in your backyard, in your space? Oh, yes, that makes a lot of sense
    via u/DriftingLily9
  • Vibe_me_pos 10h ago . You've been there for 15 years. How many neighbors are there who knew the previous residents? Sure they can bad-mouth you to the other neighbors, but when you get down to it none of them would want a bunch of strangers in their yard either. And logistically, it's an insane ask. What if someone has to use the bathroom? What about liability insurance?
    via u/Vibe_me_pos
  • If any neighbors confronts you, tell them after the woman left you called your insurance agent and she advised against it. Everyone can relate to the fear of being sued. NTJ
    via u/Vibe_me_pos
  • Outrageous_Top_3... • 10h ago You're not the j I wouldn't feel comfortable about a bunch of strangers all over the back. Ignore your neighbor you are not being nasty, it's your private home not a venue for hire. Would they be happy to open their house to a group of strangers? I highly doubt it.
    via u/Outrageous_Top_3605

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